This ordinary artist (poem)

In the stillness before dawn
at the bus stop
he sings to the morning,
an irregular staccato
drifting across the blue quiet.

His words meander between violence
and pain,
this rhythmic invocation of:
"pimps n' chicks"
"mah money and mah clothes",
accompanied by the rustle of a plastic bag.

There is beauty
in his strange melodic cries
that live in a transient space
between keys.

He fearlessly sings to his own, private scale.

Shuffling between speech and hymn
he chants, he raps -
for hope, something better,
rhyming to some invisible band.

As he sings
only for himself,
(despite me)
the bass bus rumble crescendos closer
and he is silenced,

then gone,

this ordinary artist.

But his music rings loud in my dawn.
and I am changed

by his courage to sing today.

An open letter to the Monash Symphonic Winds

Dearest musicians of MSW past & present, 

Whether we have known each other for weeks or years I have loved you. I have loved your courage to be yourselves when it was easier to retreat. I have loved your willingness to rise to a challenge, however great. I have loved enduring your joys and sorrows. And I have loved climbing towards the ever distant summit of musical truth with you. 

Your decision to share your musical, emotional selves with each other and me every week is one of the greatest gifts I have ever received. It seems that together we have discovered that the more you give, the more joy you shall receive. 

And you have given me so many things, but mostly love. Without it we wouldn’t have all grown as musicians together. Without it we wouldn’t have all had the patience to listen to each other. Without it we wouldn’t have all played as one together. Without it we wouldn’t have all felt free to truly express ourselves through the music. 

Without your love and encouragement I would never have discovered my love for teaching, and the depths of my passion for music. I will dearly miss you all and our times together. But wherever I am I will always carry with me the inspiration, friendship and love we shared. I hope you will too.

Farwell to you and the youth I have spent with you.

It was but yesterday we met in a dream.

You have sung to me in my aloneness, and I of your longings have built a tower in the sky.

But now our sleep has fled and our dream is over, and it is no longer dawn.

The noontide is upon us and our half waking has turned to a fuller day, and we must part. 

If in the twilight of memory we should meet once more, we shall speak again together and you shall sing to me a deeper song. 

And if our hands should meet in another dream we shall build another tower in the sky.

 - Kahlil Gibran

Thankyou.

All my love,

Ingrid

Australian Composers & Selective Wind Repertoire List

List of Australian Composers

This list comprises Australian composers across both band and orchestral genres at all levels. Most are well-known in their field, others deserve to be. Some write works only at a professional level, however they have been included to give an indication of the breadth of music available and as a listening resource. For a more exhaustive list including many lesser-known composers see Resources below.

Earlier composers

John Anthill (1904 - 1986)

Arthur Benjamin (1893 - 1960)

Don Banks (1923 - 1980)

Peggy Glanville-Hicks (1912 - 1990)

Percy Grainger (1882 - 1961)

Eugene Goossens (1893 - 1962)

Dulcie Holland (1913 - 2000)

Miriam Hyde (1913 - 2005)

Richard Meale (1932 - 2009)

Living composers (a selective list) – by State of residence

Australian Capital Territory

Larry Sitsky

New South Wales

Jodie Blackshaw

Nigel Butterley

Ann Carr-Boyd

Gerard Brophy

Barry Conyngham

Ross Edwards

Andrew Ford

Christopher Gordon

Matthew Hindson

Elena Kats-Chernin

Roger Smalley (NSW)

Paul Stanhope

David Stanhope

Carl Vine

Martin Wesley-Smith

Nigel Westlake

Queensland

Colin Brumby

Sarah Hopkins

Ralph Hultgren

David Jones

Peter Sculthorpe

Sean Thorne

South Australia

Graham Koehne

Keith Wilson

Tasmania

Don Kay

Simon Reade

Victoria

Katy Abbott

Andrew Batterham

Brenton Broadstock

Greg Butcher

Taran Carter

Brendan Collins

Brett Dean

Lachlan Davidson

George Dreyfus

Tim Fisher

Mike Fitzpatrick

Stuart Greenbaum

Chris Henzgen

Brian Hogg

Gordon Kerry

Karen Kyriakou

Graham Lloyd

Barry McKimm

Bruce Rowland

Julian Yu

Western Australia

Richard Mills

United States:

Sean O’Boyle (New York)

Selected Annotated List of Australian works for Band

This is not an exhaustive list and only covers works for band. All lists of repertoire are personal and selective. I have not mentioned pieces by every composer listed above, nor have I tried to give a full account of any one composers body of work. In the lists below I mention works that I have either conducted, performed or studied and personally believe to be well-crafted works that deserve to be shared with other conductors. This list is designed to be used as a springboard to exploring the works of these and other Australian composers.

Grade 1

Whirlwind Jodie Blackshaw

A work in ¾ time in A minor – a real rarity at this level – that uses only five notes, but creates innovative soundscapes through concert and home-made percussion and tuned whirlies. There are copious online resources for this piece that was designed to be taught through the Orff-Schulwerk approach.

Simple Song Ralph Hultgren

A gorgeous, lyrical work in ¾ time that provides endless expressive opportunities for both conductor and ensemble.

Grade 2

Two Places Sean Thorne

The Man from Snowy River Bruce Rowland arr. Jay Bocook

A great arrangement for younger players of themes from Bruce Rowland’s soundtrack to the film. It includes the all-important transition into ‘Waltzing Matilda’ and provides good rhythmic challenges in the accompaniment parts.

Grade 3-3.5

Australian Up-Country Tune Percy Grainger arr. G.C. Bainum

A perennial favourite expressing Australian ‘up-country feeling’ as Percy put it. A great way to introduce younger bands to the music and timbral concepts of Grainger.

Llwyn Onn Brian Hogg

This setting of The Ash Grove begins serenely with subtle percussion colours complementing the winds and brass. After the initial statements of the melody, new material is introduced bringing the work to a rousing climax before the music returns to the atmosphere of it’s gentle opening. A classic.

Rush George Dreyfus

Rollicking and great fun (especially when the written part for Ab harmonica is used) this theme song from the TV Series Rush is quintessentially Australian.

Terpischorean Dances Jodie Blackshaw

A vibrant, colourful single-movement setting of several renaissance dances.

In Stillness Brian Hogg

Beautiful, lyrical chorale inspired by Elgar’s Enigma Variations which demands expressive playing from every member of the band.

Droylesden Wakes David Stanhope

Though based on an English folk-song, Droylesden Wakes (from the Folksong Suite No. 3) is Stanhope’s homage to Percy Grainger. Primarily in ¾ time, it provides many challenging fermatas for the conductor and ensemble.

Eliza's Aria from Wild Swans Elena Kats-Chernin arr. Ed Keeley

An interesting arrangement of the most popular tune from the ballet Wild Swans, the original soprano solo is given initially to the oboe, before being taken up in other sections. Pointillistic in nature, this work provides textures seen in very few other Australian compositions for band.

Larino, Safe Haven George Dreyfus

A wistful remembrance of the place to which the composer was housed after fleeing war-torn Europe. Simple, soft and elegant.

Grade 4-4.5

Punga Aaku Keith Wilson

A haunting, original work that captures the moods of the Australian desert.

Gold! Adrian Hill

Vanguard Andrew Batterham

A racing opener in ABA style from this Melbourne-based composer is centred on a four note motif which features challenges for all sections.

Kelly Brian Hogg

Deriving most of it’s material from the folksongs “My Name is Edward Kelly”, “Kelly’s farewell to Greta” and “Stringybark Creek” this inventive piece is fun for all players and provides great teaching points on syncopated rhythms.

See also: Psalm, The Stone Guest

The Man from Snowy River Bruce Rowland arr. Barry Bignell

Deftly scored transcription of themes from the iconic film, this arrangement retains all the symphonic and filmic qualities of the original, including an essential piano part.

The Streets of Forbes David Jones

Galloping, bright outer sections frame a mournful rendition of the folksong of the same name, scored for solo voice.

The Little Ripper March David Stanhope

Full of uneven phrase lengths and unexpected interjections, this 6/8 march again shows touches of the Grainger larrikin spirit so admired by Stanhope.

The Loaded Dog Graham Lloyd

An extensive work for narrator and concert band, it follows Henry Lawson’s comical short story of the same name. The humour and drama of the story are quirkily reflected in the music, which has optional cartoon projections for added impact. An absolute crowd pleaser.

Black Saturday Mike Fitzpatrick

A brooding meditation on the losses of the Black Saturday bushfires commissioned by the Eltham Concert Band.

Small Town Peter Sculthorpe arr. McAllister

A good transcription of this sauntering depiction of country town life in Australia the larger work The Fifth Continent, inspired by a holiday the composer took with artist and close friend Russell Drysdale. It includes antiphonal trumpet writing, echoing the last post, which recalls ubiquitous small town war memorials.

Past Life Melodies Sarah Hopkins arr. Benjamin Northey

The main theme of this work is indeed timeless, and hauntingly familiar despite being entirely the composer’s own. This piece also features tuned whirlies, adding to its unearlthly quality.

The Gum-Sucker's March Percy Grainger ed. R. Mark Rogers

From Grainger’s “In A Nutshell Suite” the term Gum-Suckers refers to Victorians’ apparent predilection to sucking gum leaves. Boisterous and bouncy it includes all of the composers’ trademark colourful writing and scoring (including piano and much ‘tuneful percussion).

Nett Interference Taran Carter

A unique, original work reflecting the patterns and pulsations of electronic sounds that have become commonplace. Rhythmically intricate, this fanfare-like piece presents a challenge to steady pulse and rhythmic independence.

Grade 5+

The Promise Tim Davies

A major work of extended instrumentation (requiring a large offstage ensemble).

Kosciuszko Brendan Collins

Folksong Suites for Band David Stanhope

Stanhope has written three folksong suites for band, each technically and musically challenging and rewarding. The multi-movement works display harmonic and orchestrational writing modelled on the works of Stanhope’s self-confessed idol, Percy Grainger.

Sousltrom Jodie Blackshaw

A deep, emotional 15-minute work, Soulstrom is a meditation on personal loss. The piece contains many exposed soloistic passages and improvised soundscapes and unfurls slowly before winding up to an enormous, full-scale, eventually jubilant conclusion.

Colonial Song Percy Grainger ed. R. Mark Rogers

Though it uses the same melodic material as Australian Up-Country Tune, the counterpoint and harmonic treatment is much more advanced in Colonial song. A masterwork that should be performed by all ensembles at this level.

Masada Ralph Hultgren

This composition presents a musical battle between the Romans and the zealots at the garrison of Masada. The romans are represented by a dark, foreboding theme, which is contasted against the zealots’ dance, mainly in 7/8. Challenging and lively. Also at this level: Bushdance, Eminence, Whirr Whirr Whirr.

Veni Veni Emmanuel Carl Vine arr. Simon Reade

Composers, Publishers,

Resources – Finding Australian Music

Wikipedia: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Australian_composers - Extensive list that combines the listings of Australian composers from several different sources.

Australian Music Centre: www.australianmusiccentre.org.au

Look for their list of represented artists. Lots of links to external material and helpful information including influences on composers and with whom they have studied. Also has scores and recordings for sale with some online samples.

Music Australia: www.musicaustralia.org

An initiative of the National Library of Australia designed to aid in research regarding Australian music.

Australian Composers site: www.Australiancomposers.com.au

Australian Publishers of local Band & Orchestral music:

Reed Music www.reedmusic.com

Brolga Music www.brolgamusic.com

Middle C Publications: www.middlec.com.au

Musos Media www.musosmedia.com.au

See also: Australian Music Publishers Association: www.ampal.com.au - list of Australian publishers across all genres.

This article was first published in Interlude, the magazine of the Australian Band & Orchestra Directors' Association Vic. Branch

Putting Australian music on the map – our duty as conductors

Conductors have many significant responsibilities, the largest of which, arguably, is repertoire choice. Many previous Interlude articles, books, clinics and seminars have addressed this topic. However, within this task we have a specific duty to expose our performers and audiences to the great music that Australians are writing. Whether it is for a performance at the local retirement village, or a concert on an international stage we must ensure that we give Australian composers the representation they deserve.

Sit down to any school or community concert in Victoria and you will find that the vast majority of works will be by American, British or European composers. There are many reasons for this, including the longer history, and roles of bands and orchestras in these countries. But often you could be forgiven for thinking you had stumbled into an American band hall such is the narrow cultural range of some programming. This is not to say that we should not play works from abroad – concerts should be a chance for audience and performer to experience a wide variety of repertoire from around the globe. Notably, everyone should have the opportunity to perform masterworks for their ensemble, regardless of the composers’ nationality. The problem comes when mediocre works (from any country) are played at the expense of well-crafted Australian compositions. As Australians we should be exploring, sharing and vocally publicizing local composers that deserve wider recognition.

The benefits of programming Australian work are immense and far-reaching for players, conductors, audiences and composers. Exposing players to local composers and their pieces gives them role-models and works that have a local context. Conductors and their ensembles are able to gain a far deeper understanding of a work through meeting and working with composers – and engaging a composer to work with your group is a far easier undertaking when working with someone close by. Composers benefit too from such meetings – they savour seeing the impact of their music.

Supporting local artists also serves to keep music-making of the highest quality in the country. The ‘brain-drain’ is felt no more acutely than in the arts – if we wish to sustain a world-class field of composers we must support them at home, lest they be forced to move to more financially fruitful shores. Introducing audiences to our home-grown talent serves to build a base of supporters for composers and educates them in what wonderful music Australians can create.

Playing Australian works gives groups the opportunity to discuss Australia’s (relatively short) music history, connections between composers, and be introduced to Australian folk songs.

Groups and conductors gain the most from Australian composers by meeting them. Meeting a composer is an exciting event for all involved that unfailingly brings greater musical understanding to a piece. We are fortunate to have many great living composers in Victoria and Australia, the majority of whom are eager to meet groups playing their pieces. Whether the composer is there to listen, rehearse or just talk to you the entire ensemble benefits from this communication. Players feel a much deeper connection to a piece when the typeface on the top right-hand corner of a page is suddenly embodied in a real, living, breathing person. The hardest (and most important) things to teach about a piece are often it’s emotional meaning and expressive qualities – these are suddenly illuminated in the presence of a composer in a way that many hours of rehearsal and discussion couldn’t begin to unveil.

Meeting a composer with an Australian accent also serves to cement the fact (particularly in young minds) that composers are indeed living people (!) and that composers live and work in Australia – providing a role model for future generations.

Over the past two years my ensembles have had several enlightening interactions with home-grown composers:

Being conducted by David Jones (QLD): Many composers are also conductors and keen to visit and rehearse ensembles to give greater insight into their works. It may be that the composer lives nearby, or you may be able to visit them during an interstate tour. Last year we visited David Jones to perform his Streets of Forbes in Brisbane, QLD. The piece features a vocal solo of the first verse of the folksong of the same name. In talking to David beforehand he graciously wrote out a second part so that the whole band could sing the middle section in two part-harmony. Our workshop with him was made all the more special by the fact that we were performing this ‘special’ arrangement and he was able to bring a real zeal to the performance.

Skyping Jodie Blackshaw (NSW): Technology has meant that any living composer on the globe is potentially a key-stroke away. In August our band used Skype during a rehearsal to get in touch with Jodie Blackshaw in Orange, NSW. We wanted to learn more about her piece Soulstrom, which we were preparing for it’s Australian premiere. The band was able to ask questions, and ask questions about why certain events happened in the piece. This interaction strengthens the performers’ relationship with the piece and brings far greater meaning to a person that was previously just a printed name. If you have the facilities – a data projector, speakers, computer – Skype can be almost as good as having the composer there with you. Live encounters can also bring about the unexpected – like Jodie’s 4-year-old daughter stealing the show by jumping into the conversation!

Meeting Brian Hogg (VIC): In 2010 we prepared Brian Hogg’s beautiful “In Stillness”, a 5-minute grade 3 work which demands great control and maturity from players and is wonderful at developing balance, dynamic contrast and phrasal contours. We had already performed the work many times before our farewell concert, when Brian happened to be there directing another group. The students were so happy to meet him and thank him for writing a piece they really enjoyed.

Emailing Peter Sculthorpe (QLD): My university band was preparing a concert which included a transcription of “Small Town” by Peter Sculthorpe. We decided to email him to let him know we were performing his piece. Although he couldn’t come to the concert he was delighted to receive our email and wrote a lovely response wishing us well for the concert. Even just hearing from a composer, especially one as famous as Peter Sculthorpe, can give an ensemble the impetus to really concentrate on a work, knowing the composer is out there, thinking about them.

Taking our music to the world – touring Australian repertoire

The chance to tour interstate or overseas with a musical group is a wonderful opportunity for all involved – whether it be with a school, university youth or community ensemble. Touring exposes ensembles to new cultures, customs, ways of living, and of course, new music. A touring ensemble not only has the chance to be introduced to the foreign, but also has a responsibility to share our Australian culture and music with people abroad.

Those who choose repertoire for touring ensembles have a duty to ensure the best music Australia has to offer is represented in their programming, introducing our art to a wider international audience.

I was recently lucky enough to take a school band to China and chose to take an almost all-Australian program on tour with us. Choosing music for the tour actually became difficult as I uncovered the wealth of Australian music available!

The Challenge to Australian conductors

Whether you are taking an ensemble on tour, or performing it in your figurative back yard, I challenge you to program at least one Australian work per concert. If this is a struggle, make a commitment to at least one Australian composition during the year. Make an effort to contact the composer(s) in advance – they will be delighted to hear from you! Use them to ask questions that may arise during your score study, and if possible, arrange for them to visit you and your ensemble, either in person or virtually. You will be surprised at the connections you will make and how much your players will get out of the experience. By doing so you will begin to grow support from your colleagues, players and audience for our great Australian composers.

(this article was first published in Interlude, magazine of the Australian Band & Orchestra Directors' Association Vic.)

Million Dollar Moments

This one has been a long time coming...

Million Dollar Moments

About 5 years ago the first Frank Ticheli Composition Contest was held, and being the band-nerd I thought this very exciting, and diligently kept checking the website to hear details of who had won. Nothing appeared for months and I had just about given up checking when one day the winners appeared. What immediately grabbed my eye was ‘Jodie Blackshaw, Australia for her piece Whirlwind’. I thought “Who is this Australian female composer and why have I never heard of her?”. That year, 2006 I had planned to attend my first Midwest Clinic in Chicago and was very excited that the winning works would be premiered. Not understanding the concept of every composer you have ever heard of wandering around a hotel for a week, I had not conceived of the fact I might be able to meet her.

Towards the end of the draining flight from Melbourne to LA my friend and I heard this person talking a few rows behind us, obviously to a stranger:

“What are you coming to the States for?”

“Well actually I’m going to a conference in Chicago.”

“Oh really, what kind of conference?”

“A music conference. I’m a composer and I’m having a piece of mine premiered there”.

Well, I nearly fell off my seat with excitement (as much as one can in Economy). I waited eagerly until we were disembarking and the woman appeared next to me and I assaulted her with:

“You’re Jodie Blackshaw!”

The look on her face said: “Who are you and why do you know my name?”

We introduced ourselves and crossed paths in the bar briefly later in the week. Six months later I happily programmed Whirlwind with my university group.

We then lost contact for several years. With the advent of Facebook we reconnected in that ‘I’ve-met-you-before-I-will-friend-request-you’ way.

Fast forward to January 2010 and I was searching for a piece for my amazing high school band to perform. My whole teaching with them for the previous 12 months had been working towards making them more independent, confident, individual and expressive musicians. I was looking for a piece to perform in Term 3 – a time of high-stakes performances at festivals and competitions (even though I fervently de-emphasised that aspect of it).

When I took over the band I had initially encountered difficulties with discipline and expectations. The ensemble was used to a very strict modicum of operation and at one point actually asked me to yell at them. I opted instead to talk to them about million dollar moments – those times when everything comes together in amazing synergy and you are swept up by the music and carried to a different place. All our expectations and rehearsing were framed around striving for a million dollar moment. Together, discussing this with the students we created a vision for the band, which was “Priceless musical moments, every time we play”. We stuck it to the wall above the podium in the rehearsal room.

The potential for creating priceless emotional experiences, along with all the other concepts I wanted to foster in their playing made the search for ‘The Piece’ very difficult. Certain criteria befitting the performance of a major work at these festivals also had to be taken into consideration – a work must be of advanced difficulty and lasting 15-20 minutes long.

Then a friend who had been to the 2009 Midwest Clinic lent me the most recent MBM times magazine. In it was a review of Soulström, a new piece by the Jodie Blackshaw I’d met years before. The analysis and review was written by none other than one of my first conducting teachers, Dr. Alan Lourens. As I read the article I became more and more intrigued by this piece and immediately sent Jodie a Facebook message along the lines of: “What is this new piece of yours and why have you never told me about it?!” She dutifully sent me a score and a recording from the world premiere from April 2009. I had never heard anything like this piece in my life. It just grabbed me and wouldn’t let go.

It was such a leap out of the students and my comfort zone! Firstly there was the emotional content of the work – dealing with the loss of her father and her journey through depression, before finding hope. Then there were the musical challenges. The first 2/3 of the work are extremely exposed and soloistic and demand supreme control, shape and emotional contribution from individuals. The final few minutes is an absolute tour de force – walls of cascading semi-quavers and brass parts marked ‘Huge’ – just about a technical Mt. Everest.

In talking to Jodie more about the work she said that the students in Texas had found preparing the work very cathartic and that it had given them a space to express hitherto untapped emotions through the music. I explained to her that the 2009 Victorian bushfires had deeply touched our school and community – students in the band had lost loved ones, homes, places. I had (mostly sub-counsciously) been searching for something to help them through this too. Perhaps Soulström could provide an outlet for their grief?

I committed to performing the work and was told by Jodie it would be the Australian Premiere – whoah! Big expectations! During the rehearsal process we used a variety of activities to bring out the message in the music (ultimately one of hope), such as interpretive gesture, acting the music, composition and did lots of work on phrasing.

It was probably the hardest piece I’ve ever had to rehearse. There are extended solos, sparse sections where few people play that must be intricately put together but in a way that gives the soloists freedom, and large chunks where there is no percussion. Two lengthy aleatoric sections were so much about listening, and performing a concept, a feeling, than anything that could be described technically (or verbally!).

Before the Australian premiere we Skype-d Jodie (from NSW) into a rehearsal and the students got the chance to ask questions and meet the composer. The night before, during a practice-Skype Jodie had given me fantastic new insights into the piece. It was an exciting time.

The Australian premiere was at the Melbourne School Bands Festival, in front of the normal audience of less than 100 people. It went off extraordinarily well – it was emotionally draining, but uplifting for everyone.

Several hours later, when I finally checked my phone I found this message:

“To Ingrid and band. Words cannot describe the pride and overwhelming beauty I am feeling right now. Not only did you perform with every ounce of effort capable, you gave me and the audience your soul. You played so well. I am coming to Melbourne to meet you all and hear this piece live! With all my heart, well done. Jodie Blackshaw”

Words could not describe MY elation at this message – that our learning was having the impact I wanted on both the audience and the students. Now we had to gear up for the ‘BIG’ performance – the Royal South Street Society competition in Ballarat one month later.

Though I wouldn’t have thought it possible we came a long way in that month. The time flew and soon it was Thursday and I was waiting to pick Jodie up from the train station. We hit it off right away and spent all night talking, despite the 7:30am rehearsal the next morning.

We began that rehearsal playing the piece through, despite some missing players due to another Eisteddfod performance. It was a totally different experience performing the work in our cramped little rehearsal room with the composer sitting a metre away – altogether on a different emotional plane. After we finished, Jodie wiped away tears as I held them back.

The students relished the opportunity to meet and hear from the composer. It had created this new buzz in the rehearsal room. The few small details we worked on under Jodie’s guidance completely transformed the piece!

Later in the day, Jodie told me that her sister was coming from country Victoria to hear the performance with her family – she had never heard the work, which was of course also about her beloved dad. She mentioned that she had a brother in Melbourne, but hadn’t told him she was coming as it was such a quick trip. That night as we ate dinner in Ballarat after a long bus trip Jodie got an SMS – her brother was driving up to hear the performance as well!

We talked all night long after listening to stage bands play that night. At about 3am, still wide awake, I was discussing what I would say in my ‘pep talk’ before we went onstage the next evening. I explained to Jodie that last year I had read a quote from Martha Graham that I had read in “The Art of Possibility” by Ben Zander.

“There is a vitality, a life-force, an energy, a quickening that is translated through you into action, and because there is only one of you in all of time, this expression is unique. And if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium and it will be lost. The world will not have it. It is not your business to determine how good it is nor how valuable nor how it compares with other expressions. It is your business to keep it yours clearly and directly, to keep the channel open." - Martha Graham

I explained that I wanted to read the same quote again, one year on, as it now had a completely different meaning for the students given the journey they’d taken preparing this piece.

Jodie then floored me, recalling that the exact quote had been stuck on her wall while she was composing Soulström and was written in her composition notebook from the time as well. How much more could this be meant to be?

Fast forward to the next day, when, having lunch I received an excited text from Jodie – her mother had secretly flown from Griffith, country NSW to be at the performance. The rest of the family had known, but kept it from Jodie until the last minute. A whole family had been brought together by this piece!

As we warmed up in the rehearsal room prior to our performance the atmosphere was tense and emotional. Word had gotten around the band that Jodie’s entire family was there, and that her brother and sister had not heard the piece about their father before. It felt like our responsibility to this family was almost overwhelming.

Jodie told the students a story, one she had recounted to me days before, but which I wasn’t sure the students could handle at this moment.

“Years before, I had been quite lost – I had given up being a music teacher and composer and had been working in a nursery for some time. I enjoyed that but I wasn’t sure what direction I should take. I wished I could have asked my father.

One day a friend told me: Whenever I need to ask the Universe for confirmation of something I ask for a sign, and it usually takes the form of a bird, but you have to ask for a very specific bird, something that doesn’t come along every day.

Asking for confirmation that I was on the right path, I asked for a red-breasted bird, and I asked to be shown this sign so clearly, that there would be no doubt as to what it was.

Several days later I was on the phone to David, my husband, and he was telling me about this Composition competition, the Ticheli competition. And he was encouraging me to enter it. There, on the phone, sitting in my kitchen overlooking the backyard we had a big tree. And I looked over at the tree and it was FULL, FULL of these red-breasted birds. And David just said “I think you’d better go outside and talk to your dad”.

A collective intake of breath. Silence. Some of the band members already had tears running down their cheeks. One student, shaken, said “I can’t play”.

I read the Martha Graham quote. We talked about the atmosphere we wanted to create during the performance – that we wanted to lift up the entire concert hall and take it on a journey it to another world for 15 minutes. And that, (to compensate for the dry acoustic) rather than drawing the audience IN to our interpretation, we had to project it so strongly that they were simply compelled to feel what we were.

Almost broken, we moved to wait backstage and soon became charged with nervous energy.

The curtain came up, the program note was read:

Tonight you will hear the second Australian performance of Soulstrom by Australian composer Jodie Blackshaw.

She writes:

Soulstrom was originally a work of music theatre based around the tale of a solitary individual in the centre of a storm. The work originally featured a narrator who told the dramatic story of a freak alien storm that used the energy of people to fuel its fury - which you will hear in the music. In the centre of the storm, a lone person was searching for their lost love, and locked inside the storm’s fury was the key to freedom: the beauty and grace of love itself.

About halfway through the composition it became apparent that this original story was indeed an allegory pertaining to my very own struggle with depression and grief over the loss of my beloved father in 1997. In the story the lost love was revealed as my lost life and the storm, the epitome of the depths of my depression. In realization of this the work transformed and the narrator’s role is now completely non-existent.

Beginning with resignation and a still misty morning, the lost soul recalls painful memories which slowly enter consciousness. Gradually the memories build and layer upon one another to the point of becoming unbearable before a brief glimpse of hope – a glowing happy memory recalled.

But hope is soon lost and the individual sinks back into depression. Fighting overwhelming anger, resentment and rage the individual finally defiantly breaks the hold of the grief to emerge strong, jubilant and free.

The compositional process became a passionate, cathartic experience and what began as a piece based around a storm, a desperate person and the search for lost love became so much more. I hope it will touch hearts and help others find freedom.

Soulstrom by Jodie Blackshaw.

Together, with one deep breath, we dove into what was to become the most extraordinary music we had made together. Eerily these lonesome lines introduced a hopeless, lost, meandering soul – one resigned to depression.

Painful, turbulent memories coalesced into a chaotic clamour…but the release was empty.

Strands of reminiscing, moments were recalled with building anguish – until one happy memory – a lone major chord – emerged…but the reprieve was only temporary.

Despair turned to anger and ugliness – so BRASH! Before being choked – only to leave desolation.

The double bass cried eerily as a siren began to wail distantly. Twisting, turning, the emotions began churning, slowly at first, then rushing, cascading.

Suddenly, full of rage! The tension unbearable, the soul ripped itself defiantly out of the storm – TRIUMPHANT! Jubilation….HOPE!

The final note was released, the sound evaporated. My hands shook. Around me – 50 young people, united, weeping uncontrollably. Sobbing, heaving with the relief of it all, the release, the arrival at the end of a three-month journey. A completely different group of people to the ones who took that first breath fifteen minutes earlier.

Changed forever by a piece of music.

That was our million-dollar-moment…well, our first one…